Poppy (easttowestpoppy) wrote in cc_adoption,


Hi, I have just joined a few adoption communities because my partner and I have recently decided to adopt. I am in a same sex relationship and we have been together for five years. I am 37 and my partner 42. I have been trying to get pregnant for the last year and half. We were using a known donor and trying through artificial insemination. About 6 months ago, I was diagnosed with endrometroisis. I have had many tests in the last few months and the fertility clinic feels that I only have a 5% chance of getting pregnant. They were pushing for invitro. We decided against invitro due to the large costs and low chances of having a successful pregnancy. We decided we would rather adopt. We both really want to be parents. We are very limited to the places we can adopt due to being lesbian. We meet with the agency next week, but we will be trying for a local adoptin (which is difficult because there are not a lot of babies available in Canada) and we are applying for the states. We have been told that are best bet is to apply for an african american baby. It doesn't matter to us what the race or sex of the child is, we just want to love and raise a child. We are starting to read as much as we can about raising a child of a different race. We are not even sure yet that any agencies will accept us and we may have to try to adopt as a single. We have a lot of challenges in front of us, and we are very nervous, but also very excited. I look forward to hearing all your stories, and any words of wisdom of advice would be greatly appreciated.

x-posted to
cc_adoption, adopted_parent,and adoption
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I don't know how it will work in Canada, but I know that here in the states in depends on the state. Florida, from what little I know, absolutely forbids homosexual couples from adopting. You might want to check into the legalities there in Canada before adopting as a couple---you don't want to get blackballed before you even start.

You will also run into some issues as to what countries will allow you to adopt as a lesbian couple.

On a side question, does Canada recognize lesbian/gay marraiges? If it does, you might not have all of the same issues you would here in the states.
Oh, another thing, some countries may disqualify you because of your partner's age. China, from what I've heard, has lowered its age to 42...
I think she was looking at a domestic adoption, which takes other countries' requirements out of the equation.

Although I don't really know, I would imagine Canada would be more receptive to same-sex couples adopting than many U.S. states.
We are looking at both Canada and the United States. Most same sex couples here in Vancouver adopt from the states. We are interviewing two local agencies next week. They each deal with different agencies in the states and know which ones will accept us. I do here that we will be better to put our proposal forward as a single. We have to be chosen here, so that is why it is harder, as well as fewer babies being available.
Yes, we know most countries won't let us adopt. If we tried for China, we wouldn't be saying I had a partner because they would never allow for that, so I would be a 37 year old single woman, which could work. However, China has changed their rules and only allows 8% of their babies to go to single women. So at this time we are not trying for China. We are applying to Canada and the U.S. Most same sex couples here in Vancouver get their babies from the states just because there are more babies available. They usually apply as a single person, but they do their homestudy as a couple.

I'm in Canada, and currently in the beginning stages of researching adoption. From what I've read for my province (BCadoption.com), being homosexual doesn't bar one from being able to adopt. Go, Canucks!
I wish you all the best and am rooting for you. Have you read Dan Savage's "The Kid?"
Power to you for making your decision. I advocate gay/lesbian adoption whenever I can, and am interested to know what your experience ends up being...